Friday, 3 January 2003

15-4-17 Letter to Hogan Howe is it a Fetish or is making me compliant

15-4-17-time 18-25
there are two men on duty

They keep trying to make me eat is that they want to make me compliant or is they are for filling a fetish to fill there sexual needs 
Or is it both 
I am having trouble with eating because I have hekicobactor they no this and I have posted about it many times and have told them that when they try and make me feel hungry it all so fills me with dread because it will make me over eat then I am sick- they did once before  - my food hit my tummy and I had all on not to bring it back - yet they still keep doing and then say thing like I thought we were helping her out -
then when I post they try and say they are sorry what are they sorry for is my question
I went to my sister for breakfast and eat to much this was at 9 am and I have not eaten since as I do not feel hungry had I been left alone I would have had some thing to eat now I cant because they will think they have same control over my eating as they do over making me pee and poo there is nothing I can do about that but can about food and as I do not want to eat in the first place it is not hard it will not be hard to refuse to eat 
They will try any thing to make me compliant even some thing as despicable  as stopping me eating 
when the woman come on duty thing are no better 
they all need to for fill there needs 
I have been doing my family tree and as soon as I stop they target my eye's this as all way been a sign they want me to carry on - when they do this I sit with my finger over my eyes and when it get to much I go to bed and rest they never win 
there other worry is that they do not want to look like losers -the only reason I have posted so much is because they use to wake me up at 7 am and say we will shot you in the eyes until you post at that stage I was trying to save my eye sight but it has all but gone in my left eye then they complain that I am trying to bring them down yet they provide me with some thing to blog ever day - they do not need my help they are doing it for themselves 
the two men on duty will be happy now because they will feel they have got the kudos they deserve


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