Friday, 3 January 2003

16-4-17 Letter to Hogan Howe Day 2 of them trying to force feed me

16-4-17 time 09-24 
There two woman on duty who woke me up at 6 am and realised I was going to have my breakfast and started to target my tummy to make me hungry and remarked that they wanted me to no they had not given up - they started doing this yesterday so have not eaten since yesterday morning and went to bed just after 7 pm I think 
I need to eat early because I am going to my sister for my lunch and need to put on a good show 
what I have been doing is having a breakfast at 8 am and a lunch at 1pm and my main meal at 6 pm
and have fresh fruit 
for some reason I can not eat sweets or cream cakes which I love 
what I can not eat is dry food like nuts 
I am trying to drink as much as possible 
I have worked out a food plan and found other people with helicobator who say they are struggling with food 
They have all so remarked they are trying to control some thing that has nothing to do with them make you wonder about there reasoning and why they are doing this unless it is to bring my life to an end after all they have said time and time again they were trying to see how long I would live while they were causing me pain and that I have out lived my welcome 
A woman came on duty either last week and said ' she can not be dying it is our job to kill her '
need I say any more 
UP DATE time midday the woman on duty has just watched me go through help lines that talk about there weight loss and what she side was ' they may be telling the truth but she is not ' why would any one want to lie about this in the first place when I have been to the doctor 's or hospital I have told them and my sister's that I am feeling better then I did in January and February when I thought I was dying and sorry I wasn't so to speak to the point I arranged my funnel that is how ill I felt I have been looking ever since for something reawaken my appetite - the other thing is I do enjoy what I can eat and cook a main meal ever night just eat less of and to be quite honest I told my brother in law the other week that when I do not cook it bring my mood down 

I feel as if I am full up to my neck all of the time 

it is as if I have eaten a dinner like this and then am expected to eat another one

this is a pic of woman suffragette been force fed what they are doing is no better 

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